This exercise will help you discover your personal values and empower you to better understand the dynamics of the relationships in which you struggle. It’s for anyone that is considering making a big change in their lives or is having difficulties in their personal or professional relationships. You can also use this exercise in business settings and in organizations where people need to be “on the same page”.

Great for:

• People considering big changes like switching jobs or changing careers.
•  People going through a culture shock (changing countries, facing divorce or a break-up).
•  Managers/team leaders leading a new or merged team.

One of the most interesting challenges in communication is understanding exactly what your partner in conversation is talking about. How much we are able to grasp the other person’s message is heavily influenced by how we see the world. We generally look at people, situations and events through the filter of our own points of reference. We’re often not even aware that we’re doing this because these points of reference exist in our subconscious mind.

When things are going wrong in a work or personal relationship, it’s necessary to have a clear view of what each person’s values are in order to be able to understand possible communication challenges and overcome unnecessary stress. Once you can see the other person’s perspective, then you are better equipped to resolve the conflict or move forward in a positive way 먹튀검증.

Elena, 44 years old, mom of 2 young children had been facing a difficult time for a year before she came to see me. She had a 9-5 job as an administrative employee and a husband who was travelling a lot. Caught between her work, family and personal needs, she was facing burnout and divorce. This exercise allowed her to understand that she and her husband did not share the same values: while her core values were “family” and “security”, her husband was living his life from the values of “adventure” and “efficiency”. Once Elena saw the difference in the points of view, she was able to have an open discussion with her husband about what their individual needs were and decided to revise their contributions to the relationship.

If you are a business coach, corporate coach, a parent, or in a relationship, this exercise will help you discover your personal values and empower you to better understand the dynamics of the relationships in which you struggle.

You will need:

– A values list (you can find online)
– A separate sheet of paper
– Colored pens (at least 3 colors)
– A timer

Getting prepared
Decide on what aspect of your personal/professional life you are going to apply the exercise to. Print a list of values (you can find these easily online) and have it at hand.
Examples of values include:
– adventure
– comfort
– connection
– efficiency
– family
– freedom
– kindness
– integrity
– intelligence
– security
– success
– wisdom
– wealth
The goal of the exercise is: to determine what your core values are and help you become aware of your way of perceiving reality through the filter of your values. There are no right/wrong answers.

Take a few deep breaths before starting.

Identifying your core values
1. Intuitively choose those values that you most resonate with and circle them with one of the colored pens. Allow 5 seconds per word, and not longer than 10 minutes for the entire list. You might resonate with all the values in the list but only circle the ones that you feel are really important to you. If you don’t understand one word or are stuck over-thinking it, just keep moving on to the next words on the list.
2. Go over the circled values and select 20 out of the entire list, intuitively. Circle the new choices with a different colored pen. Allow 3 minutes maximum to do this.
3. Select 10 of the 20 values you’ve selected and circle them with a different color. Allow 1 minute for this.
4. Write the 10 values on the separate piece of paper.
5. Circle 5 out of the 10 remaining values and rank them in order of their importance from 1-5 where 1 is the most important value.
6. Rewrite your top 2 values. These are your core values and are basically giving you an indication of your needs that must be fulfilled at present. These 2 values will decide on the priorities you set for yourself and how you make decisions.

Understanding your values
Take a moment and answer the following questions:
– How do you feel about your values?
– Why do you think these values are important to you?
– How do you live your values on a daily basis? List examples of living your values.

Your values and personal patterns
Brainstorm and identify your personal patterns in:
a) A situation or context when your values were respected, and
b) A situation or context when your values were dismissed
What did you feel? What did you think? What did you do?

Finishing
Close by congratulating yourself for your bravery. Acknowledge your effort of being willing to go deep into your subconscious mind and embrace new insights.

End with an exploration mission: Pick one of the values on your top 10 list and live it in all the ways possible, recognize it in different contexts and express it whenever you need or want to.

Tips for coaches:
– When observing the exercise, pay attention to the stress elements surfacing during the exercise and discuss them using the final list of values for those who felt stress. Be creative and intuitive as well.

– Be strict on the timing. Most of the times the client wants to do “things right” and feel the need to really make sure they have “the best” answer.

-Allow enough time for the debriefing. Experience has taught me that keeping the room silent for 5 minutes after having completed the exercise brings up gems in terms of personal awareness, aha moments and realizations.

-Whenever possible, repeat the exercise after 6 months in order to record or track any change in the list, as well as in the client’s needs and priorities.