The etymology of the word “ritual” dates back to the 1560s and relates to religious rites, observances, customs, or ceremonies. These sacred rituals involve prescribed traditions, actions, words, and objects to symbolize some element of a specific faith or doctrine.

Rituals have since evolved from solely religious activities to become part of our everyday lives, weaving their way into holidays, weddings, funerals, graduation ceremonies, and family gatherings. In the simplest form, a ritual is any practice or pattern of behavior regularly performed in a set manner.

Although modern-day rituals may or may not be religious, the sacredness of the ritual is maintained through the deep emotional, social, or familial connections made between the individuals involved.

Says ritual expert Donna Henes in an article for The Huffington Post, “A compelling urge to merge with the infinite, ritual reminds us of a larger, archetypal reality and invokes in us a visceral understanding of such universal paradigms as unity, continuity, connectivity, reverence, and awe.”

With rituals, the medium itself is the message, as the events or actions involved communicate something important to those who understand their significance?in this case, the two of you.

Although couples often have little awareness of the relationship-nurturing function of their rituals, there is no better place to perform rituals than in your marriage or love partnership?this most important relationship in your life. Couple rituals help prevent the tendency for the relationship to run on
autopilot, leading to apathy and disengagement 먹튀검증.

Couple rituals help you:

-anchor your emotions to a specific, established act

-afford structure and significance to your interactions

-build a positive emotional reservoir

-enhance deeper intimacy and closeness within the ritualized activity

-facilitate the entrance into a desired emotional state

-foster security and trust

-accomplish specific tasks together

-fulfill needs for both predictability and novelty

-solidify a strong shared identity, creating a feeling of being a “we”

-make your life together more interesting, playful, and fun

All these benefits pay huge dividends for your relationship. They promote the happiness and longevity of the relationship by deepening intimacy, romance, friendship, commitment, and stability.

You and your partner likely have some rituals already established between you. Maybe you read out loud to one another in bed before going to sleep, or you have a practice of preparing and cooking a romantic dinner together on Friday nights. You may have established holiday rituals or special ceremonies to celebrate birthdays.

Sometimes a commonplace activity can evolve into a ritual when you realize it’s taking on more significance in your lives. You might discover that your morning coffee together has become a meaningful way to start your day, or your occasional walks in nature have transformed into a sacred time to connect and talk.

The more rituals you and your partner establish together, the more you will bond. With rituals, you are creating a “couple bubble” in which you solidify your interdependence and prioritize your relationship by thinking in terms of “we” rather than “me.”

How to Develop This Habits

Sit down together and make a list of all the small daily rituals you share as a couple, as well as the bigger occasions (like holidays) that you have rituals around.

Discuss what you like about these rituals, how they make you feel, and the purpose they serve in enhancing your relationship (e.g., they foster trust, build intimacy, help manage conflict). Are there any rituals you would like to change, enhance, or drop? Make notes about your answers.

Review events or activities you would like to ritualize.

Discuss some of the events or activities you do together now that feel rote, rushed, or sporadic that you might want to ritualize.

Perhaps you’ve gotten into a rut of eating dinner in front of the TV, but you would rather sit at the table, light candles, put on music, and make it a special occasion?at least a few times a week.

If you have chores or tasks that are boring or causing stress between you, think of ways you can work together and create a fun ritual that turns the chore into a vehicle for closeness and teamwork.

Make a list of these scenarios that have the potential for becoming a couple’s ritual.

Brainstorm new rituals to work on together.

If you don’t have many rituals in your relationship, spend some creative time together brainstorming ideas. These can be daily, weekly, monthly, or seasonal rituals. Put all of your ideas on paper, and then later you’ll come back and decide which ones you want to add into your lives right now.

Need some ritual ideas to get started?

Here are some rituals to consider:

-Plan a monthly or quarterly weekend getaway for just the two of you.

-Cuddle in bed for five minutes in the morning before you both get up.

-Greet each other with a long hug and kiss at the end of every day.

-Plan your weekly meeting from Habit #1 in a special location, with a lit candle and soft music.

-Develop a daily mutual appreciation ritual.

-Leave each other hidden love notes every day.

-Practice a morning yoga routine together.

-Have a morning coffee and breakfast ritual.

-Make the bed together.

-Come up with a ritual for making up after an argument that includes touch, apologies, and words of affirmation.

-Have a regular date night, doing something new on each date.

-Celebrate small successes with a glass of champagne.

-Go on a Saturday morning bike ride.

-Go to bed at the same time and read together.

-Create a special lovemaking ritual.

-Have a set, daily check-in time when you are apart.

-Send each other selfies when you are apart.

-Take turns treating each other to a back rub or head rub.

-Find a special TV show or series you watch together.

-Create a weekly “holiday” you celebrate together.

-Develop private rituals around big holidays and birthdays.

-Learn a new skill or take a class together.

-Develop a special way you celebrate your anniversary.

-Create “special request” jars filled with loving actions you want your partner to offer you. Take turns picking one from your partner’s jar and offering it.

-Have a photo taken together every year (or month) in the same location to chronicle your lives together.

Choose your first ritual to develop as a habit.

Start by choosing one ritual to work on and add into your schedules. This can be an action you already perform but want to ritualize or a brand-new ritual you develop from scratch.

Consider choosing a ritual that seems to fit your personalities and relationship and that adds a useful or needed benefit to your lives. Review the list of benefits to help you decide.

You want this ritual to be meaningful and special for both of you?not something that feels like a chore or obligation. So come up with something you both agree will be positive and fun (or beneficial).

To help you establish this ritual as a habit, choose one that you can do daily or at least several days a week.

Plan out the specifics of the ritual.

Talk to your partner to determine:

-Exactly what will this ritual entail?

-When and where do you want to do it?

-Who initiates it?

-How will it be done?

Hammer out all the details involved and write them down. Be creative and positive as you work on planning this ritual together. View this planning time as something fun and important for your relationship.

Create a trigger or reminder.

If the ritual is brand new, you will need to attach it to a trigger to help you remember to do it. You may also want to set up other reminders so you don’t forget when you first begin.

If one of you is better at remembering the ritual than the other, that’s fine.

That person can initiate the ritual as long as the other person willingly jumps in and participates fully.

Discuss your ritual and what might need to change.

You may decide to alter elements of the ritual to suit your needs or desires. Maybe the time isn’t working, you didn’t think through part of it, or you feel an important action is missing. At the end of each week, discuss your ritual and how you both think it is going.

Remember to be fully present and engaged in whatever ritual you are trying to establish as a habit. This effort shouldn’t feel difficult?like you’re trying to develop a running or dieting habit, which can be intimidating. You should both enjoy this habit and want to take the time to make it a regular part of your day.

Slowly add more rituals.

After a few weeks, once you have refined and solidified your first ritual, slowly add more small rituals to your lives. You may decide on rituals that happen less frequently or just on holidays or special occasions.

For these, having a trigger won’t help you. You’ll need to put the date(s) on your calendars, and also set a time in advance to plan out what you need to do to follow through on the ritual. It’s easy to forget your plans to do something special for a birthday or holiday if you don’t prepare in advance and set up reminders.

Don’t overwhelm yourselves by creating too many rituals. If you do, the ones you already have will begin to lose their significance. Have a handful of rituals you plan, and remember that many small rituals will occur spontaneously between you, especially now that you know how important they are to your relationship.

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