How many of your conversations with your partner have led to one or both of you becoming angry. There are few other people in our lives who have the ability to push our buttons and rile us up like our partners can. But expressing your anger in hurtful, self-indulgent ways wreaks havoc on your relationship and your health.

Too often we say and do things in anger we later regret, things that make us look petty and cause a deep rift in our connection with our partner. Regular episodes of anger can erode your partner’s love, trust, and goodwill. Over time, it can make your partner fearful of giving and receiving love and can damage his or her self-esteem.

But it’s not just your relationship that suffers. Conflict and anger in marriage are linked to physical problems including increased blood pressure, impaired immune function, and a poorer prognosis for spouses with coronary artery disease and congestive heart failure.

A 2009 study underscores that anger from one spouse is a contributing factor to depressive illness in the other spouse. “The more hostile and anti-social behavior exhibited, the more depressed the spouses were after three years.”

Parents’ anger toward one another can also be very damaging to children. It is upsetting to them, and young children often believe they are the cause of the anger, piling guilt feelings on top of their fear.

Although expressing your anger aggressively can temporarily make you feel
better, it isn’t a mindful strategy for strengthening your relationship. In most cases, showing anger makes it much harder to reach a resolution. And in spite of claims to the contrary, research has proven that venting your anger only makes you angrier.

As a result, you often have to spend more time dealing with the fallout from your angry behaviors than you do in dealing with the real issue at hand. It can take weeks or months to heal from the pain of cruel words or to rebuild trust after an angry outburst.

Unfortunately, you can’t just stop yourself from feeling anger. Something your partner says or does or neglects to do can trigger a cascade of furious feelings. You can no more to block these feelings than you can stop a steaming locomotive racing down the tracks.

As corrosive as it can be, anger does serve a purpose in revealing the seriousness of the issue you and your partner are facing. Your anger may reveal a backlog of feelings from the past that have been simmering beneath the surface and need sorting out. Anger can energize you to respond and take action.

Anger can also lead to productive dialogue when you learn how to express it in ways that don’t emotionally scar your partner and sabotage your relationship. In a mindful, conscious relationship, you don’t indulge in outbursts or tirades. You choose to control your anger and express it appropriately.

You’ve likely learned the hard way that responding to your partner while angry isn’t productive. The best thing anger can do for you during conflict with your partner is serve as a big flashing stop sign. Once you realize you are angry, use whatever remains of your rational mind to take a few deep breaths, count to ten, and excuse yourself from the conversation.

Of course, you need the ability to recognize when you are becoming angry before you can act on it. Awareness is the first step in managing your feelings. Some of us repress our angry feelings until they surprise us by bursting forth in a tantrum. Sometimes anger is mild or moderate, making it harder to recognize, but it can still cause an undercurrent of discord between you and your partner.

Either way, there are definite signs and bodily changes that accompany the temperature rise in your feelings that can make you more aware of what’s happening. Paying attention to these changes can help you manage your anger before it gets the best of you 먹튀검증커뮤니티.

Here are some signs that you are beginning to feel angry:

-Adrenaline and other chemicals begin to surge through your body.

-Your heart rate speeds up, which prepares you for aggressive action.

-Your face flushes and your hands get sweaty.

-You may point a finger to emphasize your words or form a clenched fist to appear threatening.

-You either clench your jaw to contain your angry feelings, or you start spouting harsh and critical words.

-Your voice becomes increasingly loud and fast.

-You cross your arms in a defensive posture, and you begin to feel defensive.

-You become more focused on your partner’s perceived bad behavior and lose the capacity to see your part of the problem.

-You don’t want to hear anything that contradicts your angry beliefs. You are hyper focused on yourself.

-The executive functioning part of your brain, allowing you to analyze and solve problems, appears to shut down. You are in fight-or-flight mode, putting you at risk for aggression.

The angrier you become, the more negatively you perceive the situation, as your senses are giving you unreliable data. You overgeneralize and see your partner as worse than he or she really is.

Recognizing this unruly emotion before it erupts and managing it appropriately can mean the difference between reaching a calm resolution or seething in separate corners and nursing your wounds. You may not be able to control anger from bubbling up, but you can prevent it from spilling over in destructive ways by learning new habits to deal with your feelings.