Cherishing your partner involves not only mentally embracing this ideal, but also initiating consistent daily actions to show your partner the respect and affection you feel.
In addition to practicing loving behaviors, you need to create an environment that fosters intimacy, emotional security, and personal growth for your partner.
This sounds like a tall order, but when you reflect on how much your partner means to you and how important his or her happiness is to your own, then you will look for ways to cherish your partner.
Most of the habits we outline in this book are acts of cherishing, but here are some specific ideas on habits that show your partner how much you cherish him or her.
Use a morning reminder.
Use a sticky note or iPhone reminder you see first thing in the morning (but that your partner cannot see) that reads, “How can I cherish my partner today?”
Use this reminder to brainstorm one or two specific things you can do to show your partner how much you cherish him or her. It may be tempting to roll over in bed and say to your partner, “I really cherish you,” and call it a day. Loving words do show you honor your partner, but they have their limits. Doing something shows more effort, energy, and love.
Maybe it’s bringing your spouse a cup of coffee in bed, taking over the morning routine with the kids, or surprising him at work with lunch. It could be asking your partner’s opinion and really listening to it, or offering a head rub when you know she has had a stressful day.
Not only will your partner feel cherished, but you will also feel the joy of secretly planning and implementing your daily “cherish action.”
Make frequent small (and occasional large) sacrifices for your partner 먹튀.
When you cherish your partner, you desire to put them first as often as you can. It feels good to be selfless and generous with him or her. You take pleasure in your partner’s pleasure.
We aren’t suggesting you compromise yourself or become a doormat. Of course, there are times when you require boundaries or have to prioritize your own needs. We are talking about the small sacrifices that show the other person how much you care.
It could be offering him the last piece of cake or going to the movie she prefers. Maybe you clean up the kitchen even if it’s your partner’s turn. These small giving acts are a way of saying, “I love you, and I want you to be happy.”
There also will be times when bigger sacrifices are called for. Maybe you agree to move for your spouse’s job because you know it will make her happy, even though you don’t want to leave your own job. Or you give up the vacation you’ve been planning because your partner wants a new car.
If there is a balance to these sacrifices, with both partners showing a fairly equal willingness to put the other’s needs first, you will both discover a deeper sense of enrichment in your relationship than you thought possible.
Speak with kindness, tenderness, and warmth.
It is so easy for bitterness, or even contempt to sneak into our words when we speak to our partners. There is nothing that feels less like respect than a cutting remark, a sarcastic turn of phrase, or an icy tone. Even our nonverbal communication can be wounding, like eye-rolling, cold stares, and smirks.
There is no downside to speaking to your spouse with kindness. And certainly in everyday conversation, being aloof or businesslike doesn’t do much to bring you and your partner closer. Instead, allow the warmth of your love for your partner to shine through your words and tone of voice.
Even during conflict, you can use a conciliatory tone and words of kindness. You can show through your words and tone your desire to reach a resolution and preserve the closeness between you. You can offer soft words even when a harsh response might be justifiable.
Think about the tender and loving way you might speak to a beloved child, and try to offer that same tenderness to your partner. We’re not suggesting you talk down to your spouse, but rather that you adopt the same caring language you might offer a child.
Praise your partner in public.
Have you ever been out with another couple, and one partner criticizes or diminishes the other in front of you? Everyone laughs awkwardly and tries to move on, but you can see the hurt and betrayal in the wounded partner’s eyes.
When partners cherish one another, they not only avoid demeaning each other in public, but rather they find ways to give praise. You want others to see the best qualities in your partner, and you make a point to offer words of affirmation and appreciative looks to your significant other in front of everyone.
You never feel like less of a man or woman by allowing your partner to shine and take the spotlight. It makes you feel happy to see him or her in the glow of other people’s appreciation.
Ask your partner what being cherished means.
The best way to cherish your partner is to offer those things that make your partner feel cherished. Speaking with loving-kindness, making sacrifices, and offering public praise are all important, but only your partner knows what really feels special to him or her.
Talk with your partner about the importance of taking your relationship to the next level by cherishing one another. Ask what specific words and behaviors make him or her feel deeply cherished, then work on building these behaviors as new daily habits.
Once you experience the contentment, joy, and almost spiritual connection that comes from cherishing one another, you will find it easy to offer your partner what he or she desires to feel more cherished.