The example of parents is fundamental in facilitating the bonds of friendship with disabled companions. But how can we talk about it in the family and answer our child’s questions? Here are some useful advice from experts.
Dealing with the subject of disability with one’s own children can be a reason for discussion, provided that it can be done naturally and serenely. Experts explain how to involve children in this discussion, especially if they have disabled classmates.
Children are often more “welcoming” than adults
Disabled children are introduced to school as early as kindergarten. There are different types of disabilities, involving motor, psychological or relational activities. It is good to remember from the outset that children, in general, react differently than adults to a disability: they ask fewer questions and accept it in a more natural way, “adjusting” to it themselves and dealing with it calmly.
The aim at school is to promote integration among children, with the support of specialised teachers. All those activities that facilitate relationships between classmates, such as school trips, games, leisure time, are fundamental. The support of classmates is fundamental; it is they who facilitate relationships by involving them in activities.
How do you talk to your children about disabilities?
Parents often have fears and insecurities about disabilities. These feelings are unintentionally passed on to their children. A child who is confronted with a classmate with a disability for the first time may have an initial moment of bewilderment and may ask many questions at home.
The first step is not to deny the disability, but to explain it calmly without neglecting the reasons why the child is in a wheelchair or why he or she eats, speaks, walks in a certain way. Sincerity and naturalness are the trump cards. If the child is frightened, worried or afraid, the parent must appear calm and quiet, not at all frightened.
Are there any behaviours that can be adopted to promote integration?
The support teacher has the task of mediating between the class and the disabled child, but it is above all the classmates who have the task of interacting with the disabled child, not only at school but also during extracurricular gatherings such as outings and birthday parties.
The role of parents, in this case, is fundamental because the example set at home influences and determines the attitude towards disability and the ability, or not, to create a bond of friendship.
How do children with disabilities experience inclusion at school?
Apart from individual differences, the most difficult time is certainly during secondary and high school because it is during these years that disabled people become aware of their disability. The period of adolescence is characterised by social life, by meetings outside school, by the first crushes and it is more difficult for the disabled person to become part of this context.
Being included in the group is not easy. In middle school, boys start to develop an identity, including a sexual one, and the disabled person can feel left out in certain situations.
What is the role of the school?
To promote integration there must be a very good support system behind it, made up not only of teachers and support teachers but also of parents. There has to be a great willingness and openness on everyone’s part. The school must not deny the disability, which exists, but must focus on the resources of the individual, on his or her strengths, to enhance and increase them.
